hope that it'll be a be start next year...
having Os next year...hols ending soon.i hope to put de past behind me n begin a new start

Hols finally here but it's ending soon...left few more weeks..lookin forward to camp next week:)
Idk y the more i try to forget him the more i miss him..stupid guy..
Anyways today went to church den got caught in the rain and there we sort of adopted a child the diff cells..den we had to make a gift box to give them for their christmas presents:)after that went to find mel they all..den slack for awhile den go home..:)

haiz...wrong choices made..regrets...y can't anyone understand me...can't anyone tell that i'm calling out for help?that deep down insde i'm crying n drowning in my own tears?u made me hate u u made me feel hurt u made me learn not to trust...

Scripture:Matthew 11

Observation:-he who is least in the kingdom of heaven is greater then he

-Forceful men lay hold of the kingdom of heaven
-Jesus is gentle and humble,we can find rest in Him
-We are to learn from Him

Application:If we wan to be disciples of God,we must be prepared to humble ourselves.We must be forceful(violent) in order to take ground in the kingdom of heaven.we must be like Jesus(gentle n humble).

Lol...U ask me to get out of ur sight y dun u get out of mine?Anyway i'm happy now...Ltr gg out with corina n mel at tm there...if not at home so damn sian...n horh all those hu hate me rite dun come c my blog le lorh...bcus i wun spend time to write about u all anymore la...Now at home do Ms goh de hw den tmr morning 8am meet shimin in sch go do ic den go for dance.ytdy went to watch coming soon walau keep on cover eyes scared like dunno wat like that...my sis de fren oso scared den both of us keep on screaming...ltr go out come home le den do qt.stupid maths hw so much to do n i onli did 2 questions...left 138 qeustions dunno when den can do finish.

Haiz...so boring.Sis everytime go out drink one den tmr goin jogging wit her.morning go church first.den after tat dunno wan do wat.haha today go church last minute do mmm den so many mistakes.after tat got cell den share about the visions of our cell the goals and everything.den from now on i hav to read at least two chap of the bible to catch up with the rest of them.super duper long nvr read alr la...my kor oso haha den now both of us trying to read.(And i realise that not having a bestie is the best thing bcus every single one of ur bestie will hurt u in a way or another n i learn nvr to trust in anyone.Seriously la i'm really afraid to trust anyone fully le lorh...i put my trust in them rite den end up wat happen?i got hurt...Haiz...or mayb is i dao mei bah...everytime kena tis type of thing.In sch they dare not do anything outside sch they dare...u all say ppl humji should b u all humji bah...i tot u all say u all hate humji ppl?u urselves are the ones hu are humji lorh cansss....one person dare not do anything to me together onli wah so gungho but to tell u de truth are i dun feel anything lorh...if i wan i oso can do bac de same as wat u did to me.jus tat i haven reach my patience limit yet...Sry are any attempts that u tried to get me more hurt failed miserably mayb i shall fake hurt next time let u c den u feel shuang....dun nid to so zhi bei wan try to make me more hurt?try harder la horh...i'm so sry tat our friendship is over...regreted treating you so well den it ends up like that...to think that we even planned that on my 18 bdae go shopping wit u,on ur 18 bdae u go clubbing wit me.21 bdae open chalet for both our bdaes on 23 nov the date in between both our bdaes.21 to 23 earn enough money den buy house den stay together.if anyone change number or move house we will tell each other...haha...mayb we should not have tot so far ahead cause all that is not goin to happen now...after this i've really grown up...i hope that one day u will too...but i dun really care if u grow up anot cause it's none of my business anymore.Jus hope that u wun get into any trouble lorh...You are not the person i used to no...not the person i used to hang out with...now i c u i onli pity u n hate u for what u are...)[If you happen to read this i think you should no hu u r la dun nid me to write ur BIG name here n destroy my blog]

stupid vvong ytdy i went to hg point eat wit vv mok n jj den suay suay saw them there...den after tat dun care them den ltr they eat finish le den bcus i sittin bside the tap they go wash hand den vv ong splash water on me...fucker sia...chi bao mei shi zhuo(eat full got nothin do).actually wan take my coke pour on her de den i dun wan waste my money on this type of ppl.nothin btr to do go fuck ur melvin baobao la horh...den today go dance den do nothin there jus keep on repeating the same thing over n over boring like hell...

Bleahs...last friday went to amk wit jiajun den saw samsonden tok awhile den go buy movie ticket den go eat.the movie at amk the cinema is pg but at gv it's rated nc16 so quite sick la...den sun go watch movie wit sis actually is wan to watch movie n go swimming de den she not motivated enough to go n oso quite late le.

Now for the complaining:

• Everyday go home hav to hear stupid family members nag n i'm almost goin crazy
• all my results very bad
• and i hate myself
• hate teacher
• hate parents
• aiya in simple words i hate everything and anything...espiacially this fucked up life of mine...
  

haiz....boring sia today.my sis say wan go out den end up she now slping...

These few days feel so emo even xj oso emo my sis oso emo....Y is everybody emo-in?I can c that u r gettin along with them n i made new frens...i guess life's like that u lose some u gain some...N most importantly i am me n u cnt change hu i am...i dun regret losin u all i guess we jus wun meant to b frens.I'm so sorry that i've let u down as a fren.last sat for valentines so cool la go church den everybody so hyper.

I hate my life my everything except for you

It's onli when i'm asleep den all my problems dissapear
I wish i could sleep and never wake up again
I wan to sleep forever n ever

Ppl ask me wat happen i always reply nothing
They ask me wat's wrong i say nothing
They ask if i'm fine i say yes
They ask how am i i say fine

i wonder how long do i hav to keep pretending that nothing had change...

during church service last week i was so desperate to recive the touch of God.I felt him through out the service n i cried during praise n worship...i want to always feel him so distinctively He gives me the assurance i need to get through a day a month a year...

N since it's valentines tmr...

If I could have just one wish,I would wish to wake up everyday
to the sound of your breath on my neck,
the warmth of your lips on my cheek,
the touch of your fingers on my skin,
and the feel of your heart beating with mine...
Knowing that I could never find that feeling
with anyone other than you.

please la horh u say u hav a pathetic past how bout me?did anyone even no that i was not plan for me n my sis r from diff father's den both of them left my mum?den she sold me away but her bro bought me back.den they take care of me until now?den i go back to her.n u say no one blieves u?ur other fren blieve u wat they attack me wit words wat but i choose not to care...n miss normala dun blieve u it's ur own fault,hu ask u dun wan tell de truth?n i still can laugh after u mega-ed my number n even wrote it on the bus bcus so far onli one stupid person hu saw it on de bus msg me n den i scold him until he diam diam....no one else even msg me?n wat rights do u hav to spread my number around n even said that for free sex call this number?pls la u angry or wat horh...do something more logical cas?dun b so childish la horh...i ltr goin meet fren he wait for me downstairs my house damn long le...haha...

Today went to sch as usual den afer sch go find dm den go long john silver buy food den went to eliz de house...down there eat den use com...haiz...sian sia now so free...nothin to do...n i promised normmala n my sis tat i would quit smokin..i wish i had that group of frens that my sis had n her guts.her group of frens r very closely bonded they no matter wat will stick by one another...n she wack anyone tat offends her greatly....vv ong pls stop it i hav my limits too!!!i cn do de same thing bac to u!my outside frens even wanted to help me scold u n spam u i asked them not to...n wateva tat u did now i haven report it yet once u make me reach my limit there's no saying to wat i might do...pls la all of u spread around bcus u wan ppl to think that u very pityful wan ppl to tong qing u grow up!n dun use the Lord's name in vain can?after u scold vulgarities all that u still hav the cheek to say amen?n wat?God "bless" u?u might think i'm tryin to act holy or wat but i am one person no matter how naughty or pai i am outside rite...i hate ppl hu uses the Lord's name in vain...

Jus woke up...goin to prepare for church den after church come bac eat alr den pei my sis go temple.she wan to baibai.i'm havin more freedom without them now.when i was with sibyl i always feel the responsibility to look out for her now that she is not my fren anymore i feel alot free-er.bye that's all mayb i'll post again ltr.

i'm someone hu is silly hu betrays her frens tat were nvr her fren at all....they come n hurt u with words...so here is how the whole story goes...we were all frens den we pon cls went to compass point to eat den i went bac to sch for dance den the rest of them go home den my subject teacher came to my cca venue to look for me n asked me y i did not go for lesson den i said i went out to eat she asked with hu den i said sibyl accidentally bcus tat was the first thing tat came to my mind.den after tat she asked me to write report so i tot tat if i say sibyl name alr den mus as well say all bcus we all went together.i was silly enough to blive tat they would stand by me.all of them deserted me..ya i admit i'm a "bloody stupid person" so wat?i dun deserve to hav a good fren so wat?i'm a betrayer so wat?i really dunno y i tot of u as my good fren in the first place...at least i still hav real frens backin me although they r not in my sch...thanks for standin by me...i tot of suicide but i feel tat if i dun face up to this problem n commit suicide den i'm a coward hu dare not take the consequences of my own action.i do not hav frens like this anymore i hav better frens than u all...i did not no y i was blind enough not to c them when they were bside me all along...u hate me?i hate u even more n i nvr even tok to faird can i onli tok to my subject teacher la...u hav the cheek to criticize me in ur blog but den when i tok to u u giv me that dumb look of urs n still can laugh some more...u are oso fake can?if u wan u tell me straight in my face.i will get hurt but i will respect that u dare to tell me in person n not hide at home behind ur com la....nbcb dun come n find me when u r in trouble...bcus u got other good frens that can 'help you'....n vv ong u think u fat i scared u r?is u all tell cher that i smoke mah den i say go back la...n sibyl i say u got smoke but abit onli at least i nvr tell cher that when i smoke u oso everytime follow smoke k?vv ong u think u very chio oso meh i saw de pics in ur phone k u oso got act cute wat go ahead n spread to the whole sch if u wan...i wun stop u...wat u did b4 is none of my prob if u get police case it's ur own prob not mine...get it?i can do the same thing that u did to me u blive?the for free sex thing i can even report u to the police again for insultin my name n putting my pic up without permission...try me...u fat ass...but i will not stoop so low to ur level.go ahead n destray my image as much as u wan u r jus lookin for attention wantin ppl to giv u those'relax la','cool down la' in simple words u r self-pitying.